Eric the Red

College Park’s latest Dr. Ruth wannabe is a sexual economist. Her name is Emily Apatov, and she is a junior Government and Politics major at the University of Maryland, College Park. Her motto: “I demand, you supply – on demand.” Like many American women, she is the price-maker when it comes to sex. Like increasing numbers of my female peers, she has been screwed by more guys than all of our moms put together.

I’m sure that my half dozen or so readers agree that this is why gay men are glad to be gay and why terrorists want to slink into our bedrooms at night to saw off our heads. It is also why 86% of all STD cases occur in the 15 – 29 year old population block. I speak, of course, of the “Me, me, me first and me, only!” attitude that has crept its way into the minds of womyn kind. They have become the ultimate pretenders – looking to mankind for sex, money and “fun”, while pining away for some Hallmark-inspired concept of romance, demanding sacrifice from their partner while offering little to none of their own. For some reason, its great to see womyn-kind exercises its liberation from mankind by selling itself to feel physically fulfilled.

Ms. Apatov immediately brought to mind Clinton Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was forced to resign after her efforts to teach “proper” masturbatory techniques to first graders (I may be crazy, but I’M letting MY 6-yr olds masturbate however they choose). But Ms. Elders at least equated sex and love. Ms. Apatov equated sex with money, and she’s priced it to sell. Good for her, and all womyn kind: now they finally have ONE talent. If only they could learn something that doesn’t require flexibility….