Eric the Red

With the latest attempted terrorist attack, security officials are considering a roll-out of millimeter wave x-ray technology. Critics say that this technology amounts to a virtual strip search and presents an unacceptable invasion of privacy.

While I’m sure the critics would love to prevent TSA screeners from seeing the small penises, cellulite, saggy tits and rolls of fat, I have an additional concern: the scanning technology is obsolete.

While this technology allows security personnel to virtually “strip search” everyone in a matter of seconds, I feel that the TSA should publicly physically strip search everyone who intends to board a plane, wrapping it all up with a full cavity search. Think about it folks: millimeter wave technology means that these devices can be detected, and the terrorists know that they can be detected. These improvised explosives will now have to be hidden in a body cavity (where millimeter wave technology cant see) so that a terrorist can re-assemble them into a working device during the flight.

Of course, we could just break down the barriers that prohibit intel agencies from sharing information and allow the authorities to do their jobs and profile people. That would save us all from having out nether regions exposed to the general public.